Wednesday, 27 November 2013

It was love as sweet as a silken rose; she said welcome to Paradise.

Hello! Cripes -  everything is super hectic at ze moment what with school and The Hunger Games and homework and everything, BUT I still manage to make time for that gem of Sunday night television that is... THE PARADISE!!!!!!!!! It is (In my humble opinion) THE MOST BEAUTIFUL piece of cinematography to grace British television screens in The History Of Ever. It lives up to its namesake - it really is, a Paradise. If you don't watch it, then it's very hard to condense the intricate plot into a few sentences, but it is set in a department store in 1870 in England..somewhere. The main(ish) character is Denise, (played by the beautiful Joanna Vanderham), who works in the Paradise - just to clarify, that is the name of ze shop - and who is from a small village called Peebles. She has massive ambitions, and wants to take over the paradise one day. She is being courted by Moray (Emun Elliot) who manages the store, and they are basically the main characters (There are gazillions of others, but I'm aware of rambling, so I'll just say there's a scary man who owns the shop and his jealous but beautiful wife, and shop girls, and tons of other peeps).
Now, the Paradise is brillig for a myriad of reasons - for one all the characters are very strong and well developed, with interesting personalities and backstories. The plotline is also great, and as the cherry on the metaphorical cake, everything is SO BEAUTIFUL. Every set is gorgeous, as are the costumes, and the hairstyles, and ohmygawd just everything.
Denise, her uncle, and possibly Katherine.
Denise and Moray, looking like a different race of unblemished, perfect creatures!
Katherine glaring at a shawl.
Denise looking oh so incredibly gorgy.
One of my favourite episodes of this series - Denise had to bring the magic of the music hall to the Paradise!

You may already be sold on the wonders of the Paradise, but there is one final thing that sets it even further above similar-ish costume dramas - it dares to tackle feminism. Oh yes. It went there (*Clicking fingers in a z-formation*). Denise herself questions the way women are treated, in fact she has a row with Moray about it. Denise is the perfect role model for anyone watching - she's clever, determined, hardworking, and she has a dream. She may be beautiful, but she is far from a brainless airhead floating around in a pretty dress. And so, my friends, I hope you understand my raging torrent of fiery love for the Paradise! It not only is my life, but it is life. So tune in to BBC 1 8:00 until 9:00 on a Sunday, and be led into Paradise. (Can I just say, I am not being paid by the BBC!) Before I leave, here is Denise's spectacular speech. Toodlepip!

Friday, 15 November 2013

Mince pie DIY!

Hello! School has been like a massive angry Hoover of Hate sucking up all my free-time, and turning me into a sleep deprived zombie  a bit tricky lately, so I haven't had much time to boogie post recently, also I have just discovered how to do this, so you can expect quite a few silly rad crossed out words. Rightie, so, mince pies are stupendously easy, and they are also fast, fun and festive! I am desperately trying to persuade all my friends that Christmas time HAS ARRIVED, and I think they'll believe me more with a pie inside them. To make these perfect pies, you will need:

  • 225g (8oz) flour
  • 1.25 ml (1/4 tsp) salt
  • 100g (40z) butter
  • Cold water - about a jug
1. Sift le flour and salt into a bowl.
2. Cut the butter into rough, fairly small chunks, and chuck into the bowl.
3. Then, using your fingertips, rub the butter in, until it all looks like fine breadcrumbs.
4. Add the water gradually to the mixture, and gently draw it all together, using your hands/a flut blunt knife/a spoon/all three!
5. When it's all together, turn out onto a lightly floured surface, and knead quickly until smooth and pliable - here's one I made earlier:


1. Roll out the pastry to your 'desired thickness', and once you've done that, grease a mince pie tin.
2. Use a little pastry cutter-out-erer to cut out your circles of joy! (I have a designated pastry cutter-out-erer, but if you don't use a selltape roll or a wine glass or something). For each pie, you should have a slightly bigger circle and a slightly smaller circle.
 3. Push the bigger circles into the lined tin thingies, so they fit snugly.
4. Spoon as much mincemeat as you want into each one.
5. Take the smaller circles and put it over the mincemeat as a little lid! Pinch the edges together, and make two pricks with a fork or sharp knife to allow the steam to escape.

6. Bake in the oven at 220 degrees (425F) mark 7 for 20 - 25 minutes until you decide they look so darn good you want stuff them all into your mouth in a big happy celebration of festive fun and deliciousness they're done, and then you can take them out and they should look like so: